THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR THIS. I read this in the New Yorker Lena Dunham profile and I can’t stop thinking about it: ‘I spent half my time in bed as a kid. People thought I was lazy. I do not believe that being lazy is actually a personality trait. I believe that, if people are lazy, they’re depressed, sick, scared, traumatized, or disconnected.’ It really resonated with me and helped me to make sense of my fears and anxieties around laziness. X
Yes! Oh this is brilliant. Thank you for sharing this. We mis-label so much as laziness. Judge and berate people with the label instead of asking what is really going on and meanwhile making everyone scared to ever stop and be still and REST for fear of being labelled as lazy. It’s not quite the same but it reminds me of how Martha Beck reframes ‘depressed’ as ‘deep rest’ - sometimes it comes on because what we need is to rest deeply.
Love this Selina and so true. After working since I was 12 years old, I am having to unlearn constant productivity and movement and learn how to be lazy/relax. It's taking a while..that's where I am slow...as a learner ;-). But I am heading off for 3 days tomorrow without gadgets to connect with only trees and nature, sleeping under the stars. I cant wait to be lazy and do absolutely nothing. Thank you for this post and all your brilliant offerings xx
Oh Donna, that sounds like bliss. And there so no better teacher than nature to show us how to go slow, be still and learn to be lazy in the best possible way. Say hello to the stars and trees from me ✨✨✨✨
I feel like sometimes I’ve used busyness as a way not to feel. Being ‘helpful’ as a child then ‘action-oriented’ and good at ‘getting things done’ at work all encouraged and rewarded.
A fantastic way of not stopping until I fell asleep (usually on the sofa with a glass of wine in my hand).
And never having to sit with uncomfortable feelings.
And never feeling loved unless I was doing something to earn that love.
And the middle class (capitalist) obsession with ‘what do you do?’ And ‘what’s (insert child’s name) doing now?’ And to every young person ever ‘what do you want to do’. It’s utterly awful. I make a point of never asking the friends of my kids what they’re doing or worse what they want to ‘be’.
I helped a 16 y/o with his CV a few years ago, he said he wanted to “work in finance because it’s a respectable career”. I wanted to cry for his wasted dreams.
Our son who is 21 today has for years said f*** all that. I can’t tell you how challenging to my productivity obsessed, middle class sensibilities that’s been but I love him fiercely for it. One of my greatest and wisest teachers.⭐️
oh SARAH! So much richness in this. Thank you 💛 Yes there is so much tangled up in our obsession with doing and fear of looking lazy - so much of our worthiness, value and love seems conditional on how useful and productive we are. It's exhausting when we live life driven by that. But then isn't it interesting how we struggle when we see the younger gens go f*** that I'm going to do it differently. Oof it's all a learning journey isn't it?! 😂
THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR THIS. I read this in the New Yorker Lena Dunham profile and I can’t stop thinking about it: ‘I spent half my time in bed as a kid. People thought I was lazy. I do not believe that being lazy is actually a personality trait. I believe that, if people are lazy, they’re depressed, sick, scared, traumatized, or disconnected.’ It really resonated with me and helped me to make sense of my fears and anxieties around laziness. X
Yes! Oh this is brilliant. Thank you for sharing this. We mis-label so much as laziness. Judge and berate people with the label instead of asking what is really going on and meanwhile making everyone scared to ever stop and be still and REST for fear of being labelled as lazy. It’s not quite the same but it reminds me of how Martha Beck reframes ‘depressed’ as ‘deep rest’ - sometimes it comes on because what we need is to rest deeply.
Love this Selina and so true. After working since I was 12 years old, I am having to unlearn constant productivity and movement and learn how to be lazy/relax. It's taking a while..that's where I am slow...as a learner ;-). But I am heading off for 3 days tomorrow without gadgets to connect with only trees and nature, sleeping under the stars. I cant wait to be lazy and do absolutely nothing. Thank you for this post and all your brilliant offerings xx
Oh Donna, that sounds like bliss. And there so no better teacher than nature to show us how to go slow, be still and learn to be lazy in the best possible way. Say hello to the stars and trees from me ✨✨✨✨
Thank you for this piece beautiful soul.
I feel like sometimes I’ve used busyness as a way not to feel. Being ‘helpful’ as a child then ‘action-oriented’ and good at ‘getting things done’ at work all encouraged and rewarded.
A fantastic way of not stopping until I fell asleep (usually on the sofa with a glass of wine in my hand).
And never having to sit with uncomfortable feelings.
And never feeling loved unless I was doing something to earn that love.
And the middle class (capitalist) obsession with ‘what do you do?’ And ‘what’s (insert child’s name) doing now?’ And to every young person ever ‘what do you want to do’. It’s utterly awful. I make a point of never asking the friends of my kids what they’re doing or worse what they want to ‘be’.
I helped a 16 y/o with his CV a few years ago, he said he wanted to “work in finance because it’s a respectable career”. I wanted to cry for his wasted dreams.
Our son who is 21 today has for years said f*** all that. I can’t tell you how challenging to my productivity obsessed, middle class sensibilities that’s been but I love him fiercely for it. One of my greatest and wisest teachers.⭐️
oh SARAH! So much richness in this. Thank you 💛 Yes there is so much tangled up in our obsession with doing and fear of looking lazy - so much of our worthiness, value and love seems conditional on how useful and productive we are. It's exhausting when we live life driven by that. But then isn't it interesting how we struggle when we see the younger gens go f*** that I'm going to do it differently. Oof it's all a learning journey isn't it?! 😂
I don't consider myself lazy but society left me no choice
love this!
Thanks my love God bless you and your family