Let us be lazy

On why so many of us are afraid of appearing lazy and how it might be the very thing burning us out

Hi there, I’m Selina, a Career and Life Design Coach, author and podcaster. I’ve been helping people design lives and careers they love for almost two decades.

When I’m not writing here on Substack, I’m coaching clients all over the world, from my little green office in South East London. If you’re curious about what my coaching programmes could do for you, you can come and check them out over here

I have a challenge for you.

It’s a challenge that, if you’re a people-pleaser, over-doer or busy-a-holic, will make your toes curl (but even more reason to do it if that is the case).

Are you ready for it?

I dare you to be LAZY.

For an hour, an afternoon or maybe a whole day.

Try and be as lazy as you possibly can be.

Because it could be exactly what you need.

Being lazy is hard to do

In a productivity-obsessed society where we have been raised to believe that our self-worth is measured by our output and busyness is worn as a badge of honour, most of us would rather burn ourselves out to a crisp than risk being considered lazy.

The fear of being branded as lazy can single-handedly keep us in a perpetual spin, refusing to stop, always making our to-do lists the priority, never giving ourselves the rest we need.

But what if what we label as ‘lazy’ is in fact what we actually need to be doing more of in order to fully recharge our batteries and thrive in life?

What if our fear of appearing lazy is the very thing burning so many of us out?…

‘I must not be lazy’ is the mantra of toxic productivity.

So many of us were raised to fear laziness. To fight it off as if it were a disease that, once it settled in, would drag us down in life.

Scratch the surface of a lot of high achievers and you’ll often find a deep-rooted fear that they might actually be naturally very lazy. And if they stop for even a second, they will succumb to their natural slothful state.

So they don’t dare stop.

Instead they push on through, refusing to give themselves the rest that they need until exhaustion, illness or burnout demand that they stop.

Sound familiar? 👀

And this is why we need to address our weird, collective hang-up about laziness and what we consider to be lazy behaviour.

Because it could be the very thing that is keeping us trapped on that treadmill of toxic productivity, that has us believe that we can operate like machines and that rest is only for the weak…and the lazy.

Why are we so afraid of being considered ‘lazy’?

Our collective fear of being lazy, or rather our fear of others seeing us as lazy, feels like it goes way back, deep into our collective psyche. It’s as if an old ancient warning system is in-built into us, warning us that being lazy is dangerous.

And thinking about it, I suppose that makes sense. Back in the day, when we survived in packs, tribes or small communities, the lazy people who would lie around and not pull their weight would have been viewed as people that couldn’t be relied upon, couldn’t be trusted and would not have been seen as a valuable member of the pack. They may even have been ostracised and rejected from the group.

So, maybe our fear of being thought of as ‘lazy’ isn’t as crazy as it seems. Maybe once-upon-a-time it was dangerous to be considered lazy and that is why we have such an inbuilt need to avoid it at all costs.

But the problem is, somewhere along the way we started to label any kind of rest or relaxation during working hours as lazy and that is where things started to go wrong.

Because attempting to work a solid 8+ hours a day, Monday to Friday, every week, with no rest or relaxation allowed during those hours, is a one-way street to exhaustion and burnout.

If you want to feel energised day to day, if you want to feel full of vitality, if you want to truly thrive in life, then you are going to have to learn how to be lazy…

Learning to be lazy

First let’s clarify what lazy actually IS, because we heap so much extra meaning onto that tiny little word. And it’s always negative.

But the dictionary definition of lazy is actually quite innocent and simple:

‘Not willing to work or use up energy’

Nothing about being a selfish, work-shy, waste of space, that won’t amount to anything. Simply a state during which you don’t feel like doing any work and don’t want to use up your energy.

What’s wrong with that?!

From the perspective of someone who teaches people how to manage their energy and not burn out, being lazy, when its described like this, actually sounds like something we all need to be doing a lot more of.

In fact I’d say being lazy on a regular basis (not all the time, obvs) is actually a smart and healthy thing to do.

Just look at all other animals. They don’t deny themselves rest. They don’t shame themselves for lazing around. They do it because they need to do it. It is how they recharge their batteries.

And it is how us humans (remember, we too are animals and not machines) also recharge our batteries.

So, let’s give it a go…

Take the challenge: Dare to be lazy

Next time you’re feeling tired or worn out, instead of just pushing on through, challenge yourself to be ‘lazy’.

Put down your work tools, hit pause on ALL of your to-do lists and let the laziness commence.

Think of all the things that you never allow yourself to do at this time of day because, you know, it would be considered lazy…and DO them.

Here are some ideas if you are struggling to think of what to do:

• Have a nap

• Watch TV

• Have a bath

• Read a magazine

• Read a novel

• Take an hour over lunch

• Lie in a hammock

• Call a friend for a chat

• Make a cake

• Eat the cake

• Gaze out of the window and day dream

No doing laundry, reading a self-help book or popping to the shops for milk, with the excuse that it’s relaxing.

We are going for DEEP rest. Zero productivity.

At first you might feel any mixture of uncomfortable, anxious, bored…that’s to be expected, stick with it.

Once you relax into it you will discover that your body starts to unwind, you might naturally fall asleep and slowly, but surely, you will notice your energy levels starting to rise.

THAT is the power of being lazy and being unwilling to use your energy.

It is HOW you recharge your batteries and keep your energy topped up.

And if you do find feelings of guilt, shame, even fear, bubbling up,
get curious:

• Where does that guilt about making time for me and resting come from?

• Why do I feel so bad about not doing something productive with my time?

• What do I fear it says about me if I’m doing nothing while everyone else in the world is busy working?

• Is your fear of being considered lazy actually stopping you from getting the rest you need to feel fully alive and be able to thrive in life?

• Is it stopping you from spending time doing the things you enjoy and living a life you love?

Because if it is, then it could be time to start daring to be 'lazy' a whole lot more and ultimately challenging your very understanding of what lazy actually is.

Because as long as we keep labelling rest and relaxation as 'lazy', we'll keep running on empty and burning ourselves out. And I for one, am no longer up for that.

x Selina