Unplugging: Signs you need a digital detox and how to actually do it

On why I'm doing a digital detox this weekend and the signs and symptoms that will show if you could do with one too

Hi there, I’m Selina, a Career and Life Design Coach, author and podcaster. I’ve been helping people design lives and careers they love for almost two decades.

When I’m not writing here on Substack, I’m coaching clients all over the world, from my little green office in South East London. If you’re curious about what my coaching programmes could do for you, you can come and check them out over here

I am about to do something this weekend that I haven’t done in ages. It’s something that I’m craving and fearing in equal measure:

I’m going to do a digital detox.

From the moment I wake up on Saturday morning to the moment I go to bed on Sunday night, I am going to remain fully unplugged. Completely and utterly switched off from the digital world.

Because I need it. Over the past few months, I have become increasingly aware of my growing obsession with my phone. From chatting on Whatsapp, to scrolling on instagram, to bidding on Vinted, pinning on Pinterest and obsessively refreshing my daily order numbers on Amazon and Shopify, my world has become more and more digital.

Any boundaries I used to have around my phone usage are long gone. I’ve completely caved into my compulsion to pick up my phone every few minutes, whether I have any reason to or not.

And I’m starting to feel the effects.

When I was writing my book Burnt Out, I dived deep into the topic of our modern day addiction to our smartphones and how this addiction is impacting on our mental health and wellbeing. Up until then I didn’t think I had an unhealthy relationship with my phone. I had normalised so many of the symptoms of phone addiction that I thought that was just how I was - the distractedness, the forgetfulness, the struggle to hold my attention and that feeling of never being fully present.

As I carried out my research I started to realise that these were in fact signs that I was pretty badly addicted to my phone.

How addicted to your phone are you?

In Burnt Out I have a quick test that helps you to identify how addicted you might be to your phone. See how many of these you tick at the moment:

▢ You reach for your phone first thing in the morning

▢ You spend time on your phone shortly before going to bed most nights

▢ You immediately pull out your phone when you’re feeling bored, have time to kill or are waiting in a queue

▢ You often fall into a rabbit hole on social media, YouTube or online shopping, mindlessly browsing until you snap back to reality and realize that a good chunk of time has passed by

▢ You have your phone next to your desk and nearly always check to see what notifications or messages come in as they pop up

▢ If your phone is in your bag, face down or on silent, you find yourself checking it frequently throughout the day to see if you’ve got any messages or to check what’s happening in the world via the news or social media

▢ You use your phone when you’re working and want a break

▢ At home you are often found chatting to your family or housemates while also doing stuff on your phone (ask your family and friends to answer that one!)

▢ You feel phantom vibrations – you think your phone has vibrated but when you check, there are no new messages or updates

▢ You get distressed when you can’t find your phone

▢ When you pop to the shops, even if it’s just a 10-minute round trip, you take your phone

▢ If you were to go out for the day and realized 15 minutes after leaving your house that you’d forgotten your phone, you’d go back to get it, even if it meant being late

If you ticked two or more, then it’s likely you’re in a slightly unhealthy relationship with your smart phone.

😬 Well, I just went through this tick list today and I can confidently tick 10 our of 12.

It’s got bad again.

But it’s OK. I’ve cured myself of my phone addiction before and I can do it again.

And it always starts with a digital detox.

The power of unplugging

I’m not going to lie, doing a full digital detox when you’ve developed an unhealthy attachment to your phone isn’t easy.

Not at first.

I’m genuinely feeling nervous about the two phone-free days that lie ahead of me. I know the sudden absence of those constant dopamine hits can trigger a very real sense of withdrawal for me. But I also know that once I relax into it, I will start to enjoy the many benefits that come with being digitally disconnected.

First of all, the wonderful sense of stillness and quiet.

No more spinning plates, no more decisions, no more being “on” for everyone else. Just me, quietly pottering around in my own little world, in the here and now, indulging in the simple pleasures that normally I don’t think I have the time for.

Time to read, to journal, to gaze out of the window. Time to play, to go for a walk, to nap.

It is amazing how much time I actually find I have available when I just turn my phone off.

But even more than that, it’s amazing how much more connected I feel to myself and the people around me, when I step away from the noise and distractions of the digital world and allow myself to simply be.

It’s as if I finally find my way back to myself again.

How to digital detox

Think of your digital detox as a little retreat. A moment of peace and pampering where you switch the world off and finally let yourself just be.

Here’s how to make it happen:

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Step 1: Decide When and How Long

Choose a time for your detox that feels like a treat, not a punishment. If you’re feeling bold, jump into a full 24-48 hour detox (my favourite - it’s transformational!). But if that feels overwhelming, start small with an evening or just a couple of hours.

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Step 2: Prepare for Practicalities

• Let loved ones know you’ll be unreachable unless it’s an emergency

• If you’re going out, sort directions in advance.

• Dust off a clock or watch to tell the time.

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Step 3: Plan Your Screen-Free Joy

Make a list of activities you’d love to do but rarely make time for. Here are some ideas to get you started:

• Solo Pleasures: Read a book, take a bubble bath, nap, journal, go for a walk, meditate

• With Loved Ones: Cook together, play board games, go for a walk

• Creative Pursuits: Paint, collage, write a story, cook something new, dance in the kitchen.

• Simple Rest: Stare out the window, let your mind wander, daydream, or simply do nothing.

• Out and about: Go to an art gallery, a book shop, go to the park, get out on the water, go for a train ride, visit somewhere you’ve never been before

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Step 4: Unplug

Turn off all your screens - phone, TV, laptop, tablet, smartwatch. Yes, all of them. Put your phone in another room if you have to. Then, dive into the peace and rest your body and mind crave.

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Be Ready for Emotions

When you stop running at full tilt, emotions might surface. If they do, meet them with compassion. Often, we feel neglected not by others, but by ourselves. Take this time to simply be with those feelings. No distractions, no avoidance—just love and understanding.

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Enjoy Every Moment

Gaze out of the window. Connect with nature. Let your nervous system calm down. Feel the beauty of being fully present in your own life.

A digital detox can be amazingly powerful.

When I did it 5 years ago it honestly changed my life. It was the wake up call that I needed to start curing my unhealthy phone habit. It reminded me of how peaceful, present and connected I can feel when I dare to disconnect and what a rich and beautiful world lies waiting for me when I finally just put down my phone.

Now it’s your turn. Give a digital detox a try - whether it’s for a whole weekend, an afternoon or half an hour. And let me know how it goes.

x Selina

P.S. In case you’re interested, these are the books I’m going to be submerging myself in this weekend as I detox. My friend,

Emma Gannon

’s brilliant book (Dis)Connected is perfect for a digital detox with some great exercises that I’m going to have a go at. I’ve started All Fours and the story has just started to heat up so I’m excited for that! And Love Me by another brilliant friend,

Marianne Power

has been on my reading list for ages and I can’t wait to finally dive in!