How to handle your inner Shitty Committee

How to turn the volume down on that inner critic that always turns up any time we attempt to go after our dreams or try something new.

I honestly don’t know what triggered it. 

I never see it coming. 

And yet it always does.

Every single time I attempt anything new, put myself out there, go after a goal or a dream or simply start a new creative project (like starting a newsletter on Substack).

It is waiting for me. 

My Shitty Committee. 

Ready, with it’s clip board and measuring stick, to tell me ALL the ways that I am not up to the job, not good enough, that this is NOT a good idea, it won’t work, it’s going to fail and you are going to look like a fool.

Now, I know my Shitty Committee well.

I have been writing and running workshops about the inner SC for almost two decades. Because if you are going to step off the treadmill to go after your dreams, choose your own path in life and create a life and career that makes you happy, then you are going to have to get used to having your Shitty Committee around.

Some call it the inner critic, Top Dog, lizard brain, the voice of fear. I like to call it the Shitty Committee because people seem to instantly know what I mean.

Because we all have one.

It’s that negative, critical, fear-mongering voice that always seems ready to fill your head with doubts and fears the moment you attempt something new. That loves nothing more than to point out all the mistakes you’re making, all the things you should be worrying about, why something probably won’t work, why it’s best to stick to what you know and all the many ways you are simply not good enough to pull this off.

It’s greatest fear is that you will try something and fail. That you will be judged, laughed at, ridiculed or rejected. And so anything that seems to make that a possibility is immediately labelled as high risk and your Shitty Committee will stop at nothing to make sure you do not go there.

If my Shitty Committee had its way I would trying nothing new, obediently follow the rules of the status quo, stay firmly in my comfort zone and never ever do anything as risky as making myself visible. 

And if I AM going to do it, I better do it in the safest way possible and be very very careful to not f*** it up. 

And so of course, the moment I made the decision to step into the new and unknown world of Substack, my Shitty Committee sounded the alarm and thundered in.

All the usual members were there: Doubt, Fear, Judgement, Comparison, Imposter Syndrome, Perfectionism.

One by one they piled in filling my head with doubts and fears. Each one backing the other one up:

Ooh this is not a good idea. What made you think it would be?! No, no, stick to what you know. This seems very risky.
What if people don’t like what you’ve written? What if they think it’s rubbish? What if they laugh behind your back?
I mean have you actually seen who else is on Substack and how good they are?! You’re never going to be good like them. I don’t see them using emojis 🙄
You better make this first post really good. And I mean really good. Not like your usual stuff. You’ve got to seem smart, cool, impressive. Not cheesy. Do not come across as cheesy.
In fact, it’s probably best if you don’t write in your usual stylel at all. Be less like you and more like them.

Suddenly I found myself staying up late at night, feverishly fiddling with my Substack page, hunched over my laptop, filled with panic. 

Nothing I wrote seemed good enough.

I was slipping further and further into a negative spiral, believing all the limiting beliefs my Shitty Committee was drilling into me and starting to think that Substack was simply not for me.

Now, going back to the fact that I know my Shitty Committee well and have been teaching people how to handle it, even how to become friends with it, for years, you might think that I would no longer fall prey to its attacks.

If only.

My Shitty Committee is smart and determined and it knows how to disguise itself and disarm me. But what it forgets is that I always know it’s going to turn up when I start a new project or go after a dream and so I’m prepared.

You see, getting rid of your Shitty Committee altogether isn’t an option. It comes with the package of being human. But when we know to expect it and know how to handle it, then we can learn how to catch it and turn its volume back down before it completely throws us off course and has us giving up altogether.

And so, here are my 3 top tips on how to stop your Shitty Committee from stopping you:

1. Plug into the power of accountability
   Whenever you embark on going after a new dream or start a new project, announce it to at least one trusted person that has your back and wants you to succeed. Let them know what you’re doing and when you’re going to have done it by.
   
   Ideally set up some check-ins so that you can tell them how you’re getting on along the way.
   
   This is one of the best ways to protect yourself from the Shitty Committee’s sabotaging efforts. Because if you do find yourself starting to abandon your idea, your accountability partner will pull you up on it. And that’s when the Shitty Committee is in trouble because now you move onto step number two 👇
   

2. Talk about any doubts and fears as they come up
   Just like it’s close cousin, shame, the Shitty Committee thrives when it has you all to itself. This is how it holds it’s power over you. In fact it usually teams up with shame to make sure you don’t go telling people what it’s saying.

   
   That’s why the moment you share your doubts, fears and insecurities with someone supportive that wants to see you succeed your Shitty Committee will start to lose its power.

   
   When I get my clients to tell me what their Shitty Committee is telling them, the very act of hearing themselves say it out-loud or seeing it written in a text to me, can often be enough to strip their Shitty Committee of it’s power altogether, as they realise what it’s saying is total and utter nonsense.

   
   And if that’s not enough, addressing those doubts and fears and coming up with practical solutions, can put the fearful Shitty Committee at ease and you’ll find it’s volume naturally starting to go down.
   

3. Tune into your Wise Inner Cheerleader

   As much as we all have an inner Shitty Committee. We also all have an inner Wise Cheerleader - a wise, supportive side of us that many of us just reserve for our friends and loved ones and never think to turn in on ourselves. But with practice, just as you start to turn the volume down on your inner Shitty Committee, you can learn to turn the volume UP on your inner Wise Cheerleader. If you’re freaking out about a project and thinking it’s never going to work, imagine what a wise, supportive person would say to you to encourage you and drown out the voice of the Shitty Committee. Write it down. You’ll be amazed at what wise guidance can emerge on the page in front of you, giving you the guidance and support you need.

I have lots more I can say on the topic of the Shitty Committee (and I will in future posts). But I think that is enough for today.

Just remember that if you find yourself wobbling as you go after a big dream or start a creative project, you are not alone. It’s natural. That’s just your Shitty Committee freaking out. Follow the steps above and give it a cuddle.

And then carry on going after those dreams of yours.

I’ll be here cheering you on!

x Selina